Feelings
by stripeysheep
Summary: The Doctor thinks about his feelings towards Amy. Based after the episode 'Amy's Choice'. WARNING: Slight spoilers, but not that much.


**Hey everyone! :D Did you guys SEE 'Amy's Choice'? Ive got to say it was a great episode. It did make me laugh a lot (What with OAPs with axes trying to push over the TARDIS- and failing- and an old woman rolling of the roof of a building. It was amazing). But OH MY GOD was I upset afterwards. Amy chose Rory! NOOOOO! I was so very upset and angry and... ugh. I just wanted to take it out on something, and unfortunately it had to be in a fic. Sorry you guys and girls are about to read it. **

**ONCE AGAIN, WARNING: Slight spoilers for the episode 'Amy's Choice', but not as much as I just put in my authors note.**

_I dont own Doctor Who or any of the characters. Although I wish I owned Karen's hair. Or the script to Amy's Choice so I could change it_.

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The Doctor knew full well he had feelings for a certain Amy Pond.

The only thing was, he couldn't cope with that. He couldn't cope with it _at first_, because he was denying it to himself. The Doctor had known Amy from when she was just a small girl. She was human, and it was just wrong of him to be attracted to somebody like... _that_. It was clear that Amy had feelings for him in the beginning- who wouldn't though, when he had left her hanging for 14 years? Who knows what sort of fantasies she had built up in her head in that time?

Then he realised how amazing she actually was. She had saved him, herself, and a whole world on multiple occasions, and it was hard_ not_ to be impressed with someone who could do that. But it was more than being impressed after a while. It was her; she was beautiful and sassy and amazing and… just, Amy. When her hand had turned to stone, and the Weeping Angels were going to get her- that was when he knew. But he stopped himself from furthuring those emotional feelings.

And then she had to go and try to get in his pants. It was so hard for him to resist, but the Doctor's pride got the best of him. He couldn't let her make such a mistake; she was in a relationship. And it was a good, normal, human relationship that he couldn't ruin. So he went to find Rory.

Rory wasn't too impressed with the Doctor showing up, but he coped. He coped well with the fact that Amy had kissed him. Of course, they hadn't told him that it could have turned into something… else, but he stood firm. The Doctor realised then how much Rory actually loved Amy. Rory would do anything for her, even if it meant his heart breaking. That's why the Doctor told Amy that he didn't mind if Rory travelled with them. Because even though Rory could be a fool and a bit of an idiot at times, he was a man that needed to be with his fiancée.

And that hurt the Doctor. No matter how much he felt for Amy, he could never give her what Rory can give her. At the beginning of their little dream-filled adventure, the Doctor felt a little cocky. They were 'competing' for Amy- both of them knew it, and Amy had to make the choice. She thought of the Doctor as a fat kid thinks of cakes, and that was the truth.

Throughout that day, he became unsure about Amy's feelings for him. You could tell they were slowly deteriorating. He didn't know whether that was because they were in a dream or because they supposedly hadn't seen each other in five years, but it was happening. When Rory died- that was just _awful. _Seeing Amy so filled with rage and sorrow was like a knife in the Doctor's gut. She had said something that made him want to sit in the corner and cry.

"_Then what is the point of you?" _

Her eyes- oh, her eyes. They showed the first bit of hate he had seen in her. And that _glare_. If the fact that Rory had just turned to dust wasn't bad enough, her glare made the Doctor shiver. That was one of those moments the Doctor could do without. He had a brain surge.

Then they died and woke up. He remembered standing up and glancing towards his companions, to see them holding hands. They were in love. In deep, undeniable love, and he couldn't stop that. He couldn't prevent that from continuing, so he urged her towards him. And they kissed. Watching that kiss; it meant so much. So much was exchanged between the two when they pulled back and looked at each other.

And that was when the Doctor felt his hearts being ripped out of his chest. They were breaking, and he could do nothing but place a large smile on his face and aske where they were going next.

The Doctor sighed in bed. He was in his room, wondering if Amy and Rory were in the same room. Of course they were- they had just nearly died… again. He sat up and rubbed his forehead intently. _This needs to stop_, he thought. _You can't always get what you want._

But that was just it, wasn't it? The last Time Lord never got what he wanted, because no matter how much he tried… he would always be alone.


End file.
